The Family We Choose
by Twisted Mind of a Spy
Summary: Set post 2x07 Rules of Engagement. When Jack Raydor leaves without notice, he breaks a promise that leaves his youngest daughter more than disappointed. Sharon and Rusty are left to deal with the consequences and Sharon discovers something about the meaning of family. Originally published on A03.


A/N: I wrote most of this story not long after finishing the Night After. It's my first attempt really digging into the Raydor Family dynamics particularly where raising children in Jack's absence is concerned. I really enjoy writing the character of Madeline and having her interact with Sharon and Rusty. Hopefully you will too. Thanks to everyone who read the Night After and left kudos and comments. Enjoy!

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Rusty Beck watched his 5 year-old companion carefully as they sat doing homework in the alcove one afternoon in their respective school uniforms. Madeline Raydor had been nearly mute since he picked her up an hour before. At first Rusty didn't think anything of it chalking it up to Madeline being up in the middle of the night or something. She tended to do that. But by this point, he was fairly certain that something was bothering her. Madeline was a quiet kid. But she was usually a little more talkative than this especially around Rusty. They had formed a bond early on when he came to live with Sharon because she wanted someone to play with and he appreciated she never asked him to talk about his life before all of this. As it turned out, Madeline was just as reluctant to talk about certain topics like her father. Now that he had met Jack Raydor for himself, Rusty could understand why.

"Hey Mads, you're awfully quiet," He said by way of observation.

"I'm doing my homework," She replied not looking up from her worksheet.

"Are you going to tell me what you did at school?" He asked.

She shrugged, "Nothing happened."

"Nothing?" Rusty asked raising an eyebrow. "You usually tell me everything you learned by now."

"We didn't learn anything new today. It was career day. So we mostly reviewed stuff from yesterday and did that."

"Oh," he replied and let the silence lapse between them for a few minutes as he went back to his English homework. "Did anything interesting happen during career day?"

Madeline hesitated and then looked over at him, "I really don't want to talk about it."

Rusty put his hands up in surrender, "Ok we don't have to talk about it. But we can if you want to. I'm going to go get a drink from the break room."

Madeline didn't say anything except to ask for some water. Rusty went to get the drinks wondering what could have gotten her so down. On the way back, he passed by Sharon who was reviewing evidence with the rest of her team for their latest case. It occurred to him that maybe Sharon was supposed to go to career day and got held up. She was usually good about stuff like that but he knew work did get in the way sometimes. By the time he returned to the alcove, Rusty noticed that Madeline hadn't really been doing her homework so much as staring at the first question on her worksheet. He set the bottle of water in front on her.

"Are you sure you don't want to talk?" He asked resuming his seat. "Because it seems like you need to."

Madeline was about to protest but stopped when she realized she wasn't getting anywhere either. She focused her big green eyes on Rusty, "Daddy was supposed to come to Career Day today and he didn't," She said with a resigned sigh. "He probably had to work."

"You're disappointed that he didn't show up?"

She nodded, "I really wanted to know what he does. I know what mommy does. But the only time I've seen my daddy working is when he was here last time. And then, he and mommy were fighting so…"

Rusty remembered that fight all too well. It had surprised him to see Sharon and Jack fight it out like that. But Madeline took it hard. She was supposed to have dinner with both parents and it never happened. It took three days before she spoke again.

"Yeah they were. I think the fight might have been more than just about work."

"Me too. I think that might have been why daddy told me not to tell mommy that he was going to come to career day. He might have still been mad," She admitted.

"Jack shouldn't have told you to keep it a secret," Rusty said.

"Why not?"

"Well for one, your mom will find out eventually and keeping secrets like that isn't good for anyone."

"You think I should tell her?"

Rusty nodded, "You definitely should."

"What if she gets mad at me?"

"She's not going to get mad you. If anything, she might talk to your dad and that's okay. It sounds like they need to talk. But you shouldn't be afraid to tell your mom when something's bothering you."

Madeline bit her lip. "I know. It's just that it seems like that's all we ever talk about."

"I know what you mean," He replied thinking of the many conversations he'd had with Sharon about being a witness, his mom, and everything else. "But I promise you it's not. If you finish your homework, I'll watch an episode of My Little Pony with you."

Madeline's eyes lit up "Really?"

"Yes really," He said with a smile.

Later that night, Madeline sat cross-legged on her mother's bed watching Sharon review her homework and the contents of her backpack. Since taking over Major Crimes, she had developed a few different systems to ensure that she didn't miss details from school, Madeline's gymnastics classes, or her therapist such as this review. It happened at the end of the night or first thing in the morning depending on what kind of schedule she had.

"Your homework looks good," Sharon said flashing her daughter a smile.

"Thanks."

Sharon pulled several pieces of paper out of a separate folder in Madeline's bag. They were fairly standard announcements, upcoming events and of course parent volunteer opportunities. She frowned in confusion when she saw Jack's name under a blurb thanking those who participated in career day. Sharon looked at her daughter who immediately looked down at her hands finding them very interesting all of a sudden.

"Madeline my darling," She said in a calm voice. "What happened at school today?"

"We had career day today," She mumbled and then bit her lower lip. "I asked daddy if he would come and he said he would. But he never showed up."

Sharon should have been used to the sight of her children being disappointed by their father by now. But seeing her daughter so crestfallen was hard to take.

"I'm sorry," She said gently.

Madeline shrugged and finally looked up at her mother, "He probably had to work or something."

"I'm sure he did."

"Daddy told me not to tell you about career day. He said it should stay between us. But Rusty said I shouldn't do that."

"He's right," Sharon acknowledged feeling irritated at Jack for teaching their daughter to lie by omission. But she was glad that Madeline was able to talk to Rusty about what bothered her.

"I'm sorry mommy," She said with obvious guilt in her voice. "I didn't want you and daddy to fight because of me."

Hearing Madeline say those words made Sharon almost want to go back six years in time and make Jack stick to all of the promises he made to her about not wanting to fight anymore and promising to follow a program so that he could be the father to their new baby in the way he hadn't been to Ricky and Emily. It worked for a time but Jack was gone again shortly after Madeline turned 1. Sharon tried to leave the door open to Madeline the way that she hadn't with her older children. But the results seemed to be the same. Jack was still Jack and she was left to pick up the pieces. She took a moment to organize the school papers in front of her and separate out those that she needed to keep before putting everything else back in the backpack and setting it aside.

"Honey," Sharon began gently but firmly. "You didn't do anything to cause this. I hope you know that."

"You fought at work," Madeline pointed out. "I saw you."

"You're right," She acknowledged. "Daddy and I did have a disagreement about work that you shouldn't have had to see. But one disagreement doesn't mean you did anything."

"Then why doesn't daddy ever come when I need him to? I needed him today and he wasn't there."

Sharon saw Madeline's lower lip begin to tremble and reached out to hug her. Madeline fell easily into the embrace and Sharon rubbed her back in slow circular motions.

"Everything will be okay sweetheart. Sometimes things just don't work out no matter how much we want them to. Tomorrow will be a better day, I promise."

"Career day will still be over."

"True. But there will be so many more things coming up in school this year to look forward to. At least one of those will make you feel better than you do right now."

Madeline sniffled and straightened up, "I don't care about school," she said fiercely. "I just want to know what daddy does and now I never will."

The corner of Sharon mouth twitched ever so slightly, "You can ask him," she offered. "We can try calling him tomorrow if you want. And if daddy doesn't answer, I know quite a few people who can tell you what they do as lawyers."

Madeline nodded reluctantly, "I just really wanted him to be there," she murmured.

Sharon refrained from telling her daughter something like it would turn out better next because with Jack one could never be certain. Instead, she continued to rub Madeline's back and let a few moments pass before shifting to a positive part of the day.

"Is there anything good that happened today outside of career day?"

"Rusty watched an episode of My Little Pony with me while we waited for you to finish your work."

"That was very nice of him, wasn't it?"

"Yeah, it was. Too bad Rusty doesn't have a little sister. He would make a really good big brother."

"Would you like It if Rusty was your big brother?" Sharon asked casually.

Madeline considered this, "Yes but I already have one."

"I know you do. I just thought I would ask."

Madeline yawned, "okay mommy."

"Why don't you go get ready for bed? It's getting to be about that time. I'll come in to read to you in a little while." Sharon suggested.

"Okay."

Madeline got off the bed and padded back to her room. After she left, Sharon took her laptop which she set on the nightstand when Madeline came in. Opening the lid, she began to scroll through her bookmarks and picked one entitled "how to add an older adopted child into your family." She began her research quietly a couple weeks before just to see what was out there. Adoption wasn't something Sharon had ever considered with Rusty. But as time passed he was becoming a part of the family that Sharon was just coming to realize she wanted.

The End


End file.
